


Silent Prayer to Heaven, A

by bakedgoldfish



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Pre-White House (West Wing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-15
Updated: 2004-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bakedgoldfish/pseuds/bakedgoldfish
Summary: Jed takes care of Leo during one of his binges.





	Silent Prayer to Heaven, A

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**A Silent Prayer to Heaven**

**by:** [Baked Goldfish](mailto:romana_1@h)

**Category:** Jed/Leo - Pre-Whitehouse  
**Rating:** YTEEN **Summary:** Jed takes care of Leo during one of his binges.  
**Disclaimer:** TWW is NBC's.  
**Author's Notes:** Oddly enough, this isn't slash.  It may seem like it, but it's just a harmless friendshipfic.  Also, it took me forever to think of a title.  Just thought I'd put that out there =) **Timeline Note:** This is supposed to take place in '92/'93, when Bartlet was governor of New Hampshire. 

"When I was lying on my face in the motel parking lot, you were  
the one I called."  
-Leo to Jed, _He Shall, From Time To Time_  


_Boy it's cold.  Boy, oh boy.  Is it ever cold.  But, it's funny, because one of my cheeks and about my entire back isn't as cold as the rest of me.  Did that make sense?  Oh, look at that.  A cockroach... It thinks that piece of paper is food.  Hello, little cockroach.  You're probably gonna get run over, you know.  In the dark, you poor, poor thing.  You won't know it's coming.  Oh, sure, you'll feel the ground shake a bit.  But, what'll you think?  Not that you're about to die, that's for sure.  Because, you're a cockroach.  And you don't know about that.  Death, I mean.  You just know about that little scrap of paper you're trailing away with.  What I wouldn't give to be in your shoes... except, you don't wear shoes, do you?_

From his unique position lying on the asphalt, Leo McGarry observed the cockroach skitter away quickly.  He tried to yell at it to stay, but his tongue stayed paralyzed in his mouth, dry and feeling swollen.  Suddenly, he became aware of something in his jacket pocket, poking his side annoyingly.  Fumbling a bit, he was finally able to extract the offending item.  _A phone,_ he thought wearily.  _I should call someone...  Jed!  The Governor... Governor Jed._ Finding his tongue, he grunted out, "Yeah," before groggily punching in Bartlet's number. 

From the other end of the line came a sleepy, "'Lo?" 

"Gov'nor Jed!  It's me," Leo stated in a slurred, lilting voice. 

Governor Jed Bartlet sighed in his bed.  He glanced at the clock on the night stand.  "Leo, it's three in the morning," he mumbled wearily.  "What the hell are you doing?" 

"There's this cockroach, see, it's gonna die," Leo explained drunkenly.  "You got... you gotta save it, Gov'nor Jed." 

Rubbing his face tiredly, Bartlet asked, "Leo, where are you?" 

Leo attempted to stand up, but only made it into a sitting position, leaning against a nearby parked car.  "Dunno... there, there's a cockroach, it ran away..." 

"Leo, look around for a minute.  What do you see?"  Jed asked this question as if he had asked it a hundred times before. 

"Uhh... a big sign.  'The Image Motel' it says." 

"I'm coming to get you," the governor stated tiredly as he swung his legs over the bed.  He looked on the other side of his bed forlornly; Abbey was gone for the weekend, visiting family.  He would have to take on Leo in all his inebriety alone.  There was no way he was going to put Jenny and Mallory through it again.  "Stay right where you are," he added. 

"'Kay."  Leo didn't bother hanging up as he watched dazedly for the cockroach.  Soon, he drifted off a little, and was unaware when the car pulled up beside him.  All he knew was that he was being jerked onto his feet suddenly.  "What the hell-" 

"Leo, it's me.  Get in the car."  Jed shoved him unceremoniously into the waiting vehicle, then climbed in the other side. 

"The... the cockroach, you have to save him," Leo mumbled as Jed pulled the seatbelt over him. 

"Screw the damn cockroach," Bartlet muttered as he climbed into the driver's seat.  "I'm running over him as I speak." 

The drive to the governor's mansion was made in silence.  After what seemed to Bartlet to be forever, they finally pulled into the driveway, and then the garage.  He helped Leo out of the car, and guided him not-so-gently into the kitchen.  Pushing his friend down into a chair, Jed went about making coffee for the two of them. 

After long last, Leo broke the silence.  "You didn't help th' cockroach," he mumbled. 

Slamming an empty mug onto the counter with such force that it cracked, Bartlet spat back, "I couldn't care less about that cockroach, Leo.  How many times has tonight--no, lemme rephrase that, how many times has _this morning_ played out in the last month?  How many more times is it gonna play out before you realize what an idiot you're being?"  At Leo's silence, he took a deep breath, got another mug out, and set about getting the coffee ready.  Placing a steaming mug in front of his longtime friend, and getting one for himself, the governor stated, "You need help, Leo.  Between the liquor and the pills, you're killing yourself." 

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Leo mumbled as he took a sip. 

Jed looked at him sharply.  "What did you just say?"  When Leo refused to answer, he set his mug down and stalked over to his friend.  Taking McGarry by the shoulders, Jed repeated his question. 

Leo looked away sourly.  "Nothing," he muttered before taking another sip. 

Grabbing the mug out of Leo's hands, Jed stared at him.  "You said, 'would that be such a bad thing'.  I'd hardly call that 'nothing,' Leo," he hissed. 

"Can I have my coffee?" Leo asked indignantly. 

"No, you may not, not until you tell me why it wouldn't be such a bad thing if you were dead," Bartlet stated firmly and loudly. 

"Christ, you don't have to yell," Leo muttered, getting out of the chair unsteadily and walking towards the living room. 

Jed stormed after him.  "I wasn't yelling, and besides, I just went out there at three in the morning to drag your sorry drunk butt out of the cold and into, get this, the _gubernatorial mansion_.  I might add, _my_ gubernatorial mansion.  I damn well have the right to yell, and I will if I think it'll knock some sense into you!"  As Leo plopped onto the couch, Jed added, "Now, tell me what you meant." 

Leaning back tiredly, Leo sighed.  "'M tired, Jed.  Can't you ask me in the morning?" 

"Fine."  Jed pulled him up roughly by the shoulders and walked him to the door.  "Get out," he said as he shoved him outside.  "If you're not gonna play by my rules, you're not sleeping under my roof." 

Stumbling down the steps a little, Leo turned to look as Jed slammed the door shut.  _He's bluffing,_ he thought.  _He's got to be bluffing._ He waited a few moments before making his way back to the door.  "Jed?  Lemme in.  Jed?"  He saw the light go on and then off again in the bedroom window, upstairs.  Ringing the doorbell anxiously, he kept calling for Bartlet to let him back in.  "Jed, c'mon.  It's cold out here... Jed?" 

From his bedroom window, Jed Bartlet watched as his friend leaned up against the door and rang the doorbell.  _He's a mess,_ he thought to himself.  _A drunken, high, complete mess.  God, how did I let him do this to himself?  Was I_ that _caught up in politics that I failed to notice that my best friend was slowly killing himself?  Christ, help him.  While you're at it, help me too._   He reluctantly went back downstairs, slowly making his way to the door.  Opening it, he was confronted with a frightened, shivering Leo.  "Well?" he asked, trying to keep up the tough visage he'd been wearing all night. 

"Lemme come back in, huh?  I--I'm sorry, Jed.  Please let me in." 

Moving aside, he beckoned for McGarry to enter.  "You gonna talk now?" 

Leo stopped for a moment, hesitant.  "Gimme a minute?" he asked haltingly. 

"Fair enough."  He guided his friend back to the couch and sat down beside him.  "Whenever you're ready." 

Ducking his head, Leo began hesitantly, "Jenny... she threw me out of the house." 

Jed looked at him with both concern and resignation.  _That's the third time.  God, is it the last?_   "Go on," he prompted after a moment of silence.  "I'd like to know why my best friend thinks that offing himself is a good idea," he added. 

Leo stared at him, surprised and shaken.  "Wha--Jed, please.  Just drop it, okay?  I really don't feel-" 

"Leo."  Jed took Leo's face in his hands and stared right into his eyes.  "This is me.  Jed.  You can talk to me."  Letting his hands slip down to McGarry's shoulders, he added, "Tell me what happened." 

Leaning his elbows on his knees, Leo rested his head in his hands.  "I..."  His voice trailed off for a moment, and it seemed as if he was not going to complete the sentence.  Then: "I hit Mallory," he sighed.  "I can't even remember--she was complaining to Jenny about something, I can't even remember what.  All I know is that I hit her."  He paused for a moment, his head still in his hands.  "I hit my little girl.  And then I went out and got even more drunk.  When I came back, Mallory was gone.  Jenny said she went over to a friend's house, and then she told me to pack up my things and get the hell out." 

He leaned back, and Jed could clearly make out the wet smudges around Leo's eyes.  "My baby girl's afraid of me, Jed.  I think Jenny's having-"  He stopped, blinked a few times, and went on.  "She's having an affair.  Not that I blame either of them," he added with a short, concatenated laugh.  The sad look quickly returned.  "The president told me that if it wasn't for the fact that I was such a major player in the party, he'd have asked for my resignation a long time ago.  I'm so tired of it, Jed.  So tired.  I just... I want it all to stop.  I want to quit.  I don't know how much more I can take." 

Jed realized that he'd been absently rubbing his friend's arm supportively.  _He wants to say more, but he can't.  C'mon, Leo,_ talk _to me._   Quickly, suddenly, he pulled Leo into an embrace, getting into a comfortable position.  "I'm here," he murmured simply, still holding him. 

"I'm scared, Jed," he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.  "I'm scared that I'm gonna wake up one day, and all the people who've put up with me all this time are gonna be gone."  It was nearly a minute before he spoke again.  "Promise me, Jed, that you won't ever-- I mean, I don't care if it's a lie, lie to me if you have to--but promise me you won't give up on me." 

"I promise," he whispered sincerely.  They sat there for a few moments before Bartlet decided that it as time to go back to sleep.  He helped Leo up the stairs, arms wrapped around his best friend's shoulders.  Within moments, he had gottent the now half-asleep McGarry into a pair of borrowed sweats. 

Laying Leo down onto the bed and tucking the sheets around him, Jed said quietly, "We'll talk to Jenny in the morning.  You sleep now."  He turned and started to walk to his own bedroom, when he heard Leo call for him.  He turned back around. 

"Don't go," Leo murmured, eyes half-closed but struggling to stay open.  "Stay for a little... 'least til I fall asleep?" 

Without a moment's hesitation, Jed crawled into the bed beside Leo, wrapping his arms around him.  Leo turned into his embrace, curled up on his side, lying like a child in Bartlet's arms.  He tried to keep his eyes open a little longer. 

"Jed?" 

"Hmm?" 

"There's this place... it's a clinic.  A, uh, rehab... "  His voice trailed off wearily.  "I think I'm gonna call them in the morning." 

"Okay," was all Jed could whisper.  He watched as Leo drifted off to sleep in his arms.  Placing a kiss on McGarry's forehead, Jed closed his eyes. 

And as he drifted off himself, Jed Bartlet sent a silent prayer to heaven. 

-end- 

  



End file.
